Lesson: Positive Reframing
When you’re stuck in a “not good enough” headspace, changing what you tell yourself can completely turn things around. Positive reframing involves thinking about a negative or challenging situation in a more positive way.
While it’s important to examine the unkind or inconsiderate things we say to others, our internal dialogue, too, can sneakily hold us back from unlocking our full potential. Oftentimes, countering a negative or “stuck” mindset starts with reframing what we’re telling ourselves. For example, a simple shift from “This is too daunting” to “I’m going to break it down and take the first step” can help us move forward and think positively.
These Phrases Will Help You Reframe a Negative Mindset
“I do not break promises to myself.”
Whenever you think you cannot do something, counter that thought with the mantra, ‘I do not break promises to myself.’ This phrase often helps you remember why you started, and why you want to accomplish the goal you’ve set. It also gives you a quick self-esteem boost because it serves as a reminder that you're important and worthy.
“Perspective counts.”
To get yourself out of a negative mindset, always tell yourself, ‘Perspective counts.’ It helps to remind you that other difficult times have been difficult, and that you have attributes that surpass any denigrating self-talk. It can help you focus on what you’ve got going for you, instead of what you’re lacking.
“Remember why you started.”
Life’s about prioritizing what’s most important. One phrase that would keep you going in seemingly difficult times is, ‘Remember why you started.’ It would help you remember that life is one step forward, and two steps back.
“No darkness, no season can last forever.”
This is a phrase you can think of when you encounter negative feelings or when things don’t go according to plan. This phrase would remind you that there is a season for everything, and everything will eventually pass. You may feel that the weight of the world is on your shoulders right now, but it is just right now. Everything goes away.
“Keep going, keep playing, you’re doing great.”
This is also a go-to phrase for your players when they feel tired during practice and games. It would help bring that inner motivation and energy to push them to go beyond their limits.
“I heard you, and I’ve got this.”
When they are stuck in a negative mindset, they can tell their inner critic, ‘I heard you, and I’ve got this.’ It would work wonders to disarm and quiet the mean voice in their head.
“My knowledge is just as valid as anyone else’s.”
When your players are facing something new or run into a task that they don’t feel quite capable of, they can tell themselves: ‘My life experience and knowledge is just as valid and valuable as anyone else’s. You can do this.’ It can be hard to feel confident all the time, but they can try to keep their internal dialogue on the positive side so they can stay motivated, even through the setbacks.”
“I’ve had a lot of problems in my life, and most of them never happened.”
Negative thinking clouds our perceptions and our behaviors. If we can put ourselves in a more positive forward state, we can reduce stress and make better choices. This phrase helps you reframe, and replace your ‘I have to” thoughts with ‘I get to’ thoughts.
“List the facts.”
Some players may need real hardcore evidence to convince themselves out of the negative thoughts. Whenever they are having self-doubts, which may happen a lot, they can make a list of facts that contradict the negative thoughts about themselves. For example, when they think they are not qualified, they can write down the list of things they have done successfully in the past to contradict themselves. While writing each fact down, they would realize how crazy they are when they are in the negativity zone. Afterwards, when they read the complete list, their confidence grows right back.
“External appearance is irrelevant.”
When they have negative thoughts, they can tell themselves the story of the lion and the elephant. The lion is the king of the jungle because of his mindset. He sees an elephant, who is much bigger and stronger and who could squash the lion with one foot, as his lunch. The elephant sees the lion as a predator. This story can remind them that external appearance is irrelevant. Telling yourself an inspiring story can shift your mindset and get you where you need to be.
“Override”
Whenever your players are spiraling with limiting thoughts, they can say the word ‘Override,’ and interrupt the thought with whatever the next empowering thought that arises is. They will find that they think of a happier or motivating thought afterwards, which changes the perspective of whatever they were thinking about or looking at.
“Reset, reset”
This is a hack they can use to interrupt any negative thinking. They should say it out loud. It doesn’t matter where they are. They could be in the shower or in the grocery store. When a thought comes in that doesn’t serve them, they should stop it and reset their thinking by saying ‘Reset, reset’ out loud.
“This is not permanent.”
Your players could get so intertwined in the day that they may lose sight of the big picture. When they feel the little tasks and unpleasantries start to build and wear them down into an ‘I can’t do this’ mindset, they can tell themselves, ‘This is not permanent. Nothing is permanent.’ Once they do this, they would feel stronger, more present, and able to see their lives move forward once more.
“Why not? What’s my first step?”
When they think they can’t do something, they should ask themselves, ‘Why not?’ and then ask, ‘What’s my first step?’ The process of examining the reasons why they feel they are not capable of doing something often points to the very reasons why they are. It reminds them that everyone does something for the first time. How we approach doing those new things can shift us from discomfort to comfort. Those two questions would help them to take the first simple step to start building confidence.
“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it.”
When your team sets ambitious goals that require some long-term perspective, an internal voice of doubt may typically kick in, telling them that the goal will take too long to achieve, or that other teams achieved milestones at a younger age. Thankfully, this would help them revert to a positive mood and get started on the goal: ‘Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
Whenever you have a negative mindset, feeling, or attitude, just reframe it. Use the Fight ON! Mentality to eliminate all negative thoughts.
While it’s important to examine the unkind or inconsiderate things we say to others, our internal dialogue, too, can sneakily hold us back from unlocking our full potential. Oftentimes, countering a negative or “stuck” mindset starts with reframing what we’re telling ourselves. For example, a simple shift from “This is too daunting” to “I’m going to break it down and take the first step” can help us move forward and think positively.
These Phrases Will Help You Reframe a Negative Mindset
“I do not break promises to myself.”
Whenever you think you cannot do something, counter that thought with the mantra, ‘I do not break promises to myself.’ This phrase often helps you remember why you started, and why you want to accomplish the goal you’ve set. It also gives you a quick self-esteem boost because it serves as a reminder that you're important and worthy.
“Perspective counts.”
To get yourself out of a negative mindset, always tell yourself, ‘Perspective counts.’ It helps to remind you that other difficult times have been difficult, and that you have attributes that surpass any denigrating self-talk. It can help you focus on what you’ve got going for you, instead of what you’re lacking.
“Remember why you started.”
Life’s about prioritizing what’s most important. One phrase that would keep you going in seemingly difficult times is, ‘Remember why you started.’ It would help you remember that life is one step forward, and two steps back.
“No darkness, no season can last forever.”
This is a phrase you can think of when you encounter negative feelings or when things don’t go according to plan. This phrase would remind you that there is a season for everything, and everything will eventually pass. You may feel that the weight of the world is on your shoulders right now, but it is just right now. Everything goes away.
“Keep going, keep playing, you’re doing great.”
This is also a go-to phrase for your players when they feel tired during practice and games. It would help bring that inner motivation and energy to push them to go beyond their limits.
“I heard you, and I’ve got this.”
When they are stuck in a negative mindset, they can tell their inner critic, ‘I heard you, and I’ve got this.’ It would work wonders to disarm and quiet the mean voice in their head.
“My knowledge is just as valid as anyone else’s.”
When your players are facing something new or run into a task that they don’t feel quite capable of, they can tell themselves: ‘My life experience and knowledge is just as valid and valuable as anyone else’s. You can do this.’ It can be hard to feel confident all the time, but they can try to keep their internal dialogue on the positive side so they can stay motivated, even through the setbacks.”
“I’ve had a lot of problems in my life, and most of them never happened.”
Negative thinking clouds our perceptions and our behaviors. If we can put ourselves in a more positive forward state, we can reduce stress and make better choices. This phrase helps you reframe, and replace your ‘I have to” thoughts with ‘I get to’ thoughts.
“List the facts.”
Some players may need real hardcore evidence to convince themselves out of the negative thoughts. Whenever they are having self-doubts, which may happen a lot, they can make a list of facts that contradict the negative thoughts about themselves. For example, when they think they are not qualified, they can write down the list of things they have done successfully in the past to contradict themselves. While writing each fact down, they would realize how crazy they are when they are in the negativity zone. Afterwards, when they read the complete list, their confidence grows right back.
“External appearance is irrelevant.”
When they have negative thoughts, they can tell themselves the story of the lion and the elephant. The lion is the king of the jungle because of his mindset. He sees an elephant, who is much bigger and stronger and who could squash the lion with one foot, as his lunch. The elephant sees the lion as a predator. This story can remind them that external appearance is irrelevant. Telling yourself an inspiring story can shift your mindset and get you where you need to be.
“Override”
Whenever your players are spiraling with limiting thoughts, they can say the word ‘Override,’ and interrupt the thought with whatever the next empowering thought that arises is. They will find that they think of a happier or motivating thought afterwards, which changes the perspective of whatever they were thinking about or looking at.
“Reset, reset”
This is a hack they can use to interrupt any negative thinking. They should say it out loud. It doesn’t matter where they are. They could be in the shower or in the grocery store. When a thought comes in that doesn’t serve them, they should stop it and reset their thinking by saying ‘Reset, reset’ out loud.
“This is not permanent.”
Your players could get so intertwined in the day that they may lose sight of the big picture. When they feel the little tasks and unpleasantries start to build and wear them down into an ‘I can’t do this’ mindset, they can tell themselves, ‘This is not permanent. Nothing is permanent.’ Once they do this, they would feel stronger, more present, and able to see their lives move forward once more.
“Why not? What’s my first step?”
When they think they can’t do something, they should ask themselves, ‘Why not?’ and then ask, ‘What’s my first step?’ The process of examining the reasons why they feel they are not capable of doing something often points to the very reasons why they are. It reminds them that everyone does something for the first time. How we approach doing those new things can shift us from discomfort to comfort. Those two questions would help them to take the first simple step to start building confidence.
“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it.”
When your team sets ambitious goals that require some long-term perspective, an internal voice of doubt may typically kick in, telling them that the goal will take too long to achieve, or that other teams achieved milestones at a younger age. Thankfully, this would help them revert to a positive mood and get started on the goal: ‘Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
Whenever you have a negative mindset, feeling, or attitude, just reframe it. Use the Fight ON! Mentality to eliminate all negative thoughts.